DO NOT GET POOP ON YOUR BATMAN CAPE!!!
...do NOT punch your brother...we don't drink milk if its solid...Make sure you wash your privates...do NOT hit your sister...how did this shoe end up in the garbage...do NOT hit the baby...how did my camera end up in the garbage...no I am not pooping blood, I just had a baby thats what happens...stop hitting each other...no you cannot eat that shoe...what is that on the bottom of that shoe...thats part of a tampon, no that is not a straw to drink with...no the baby CANNOT ride the 4 wheeler with you...this time lets try to pee IN the potty...you have to aim...no I do not have a pip(aka penis) and no it did not fall off I just wasn't born with one...no you will never have big boobies...yes sissy will...no you may not hit them like punching bags while I try to shave my legs in the shower...every one get OFF the counter...yes I am pooping no you CANNOT watch...
The next person to pee on the curtains is going to get a spanking!
He let you stab him, now let him stab you!
Why did you suck on your arms until you got a hickey? Do NOT suck on your arms!
No I am not going to pull your finger....followed by... alright but don't ask me again...followed by....good one honey, maybe you should check your pants.Stop grabbing the doggys peepee. He doesnt like that! He will bite you! No! Don't rip your diaper off and then pee on the kitchen floor. Oh and now youre fingerpainting with it. Yay!
Sweetheart, we don't put our fingers in our butt - that's bad manners.
No darling, my peepee is not squished, I wasn't born with one like yours. Girls have different ways they go to the bathroom.
To 5 year old: "Who peed in this cup and put it in the freezer??" (Imagine this said in a hysterical voice as I spilled pee on myself and my kitchen floor)
"No, that is not a kazoo." (Rushing to bathroom to empty garbage of used
tampons)If you don't stop pestering your brother, I am going to give him permission to beat you silly.
How many times do I have to tell you to NOT drink from the toilet - that's disgusting!
How long ago did you catch the worms I just found in your pocket?
Please don't put your hand down Mommy's shirt.
No, I am sorry. You can't go back into Mommy's tummy and see where you came from.
Nutty, put your sister down. No don't DROP her! Put her down NICELY!
Please don't drink the bath water.
What do you mean you're not wearing panties?
"It's not nice to pick your nose and eat it." "Why?""Because God created boogers so bad things couldn't get in your body through your nose."(He eats a booger)"It's going right here" (points to his foot and then picks up a carton of tomatoes) "Christian, you just touched my tomatoes with your germs." "It's okay. They were in their cage."
No, I don't want you to get into my shirt with me.
PLEASE, do not eat anymore crayons!
While attempting to nurse in a fancy restaurant: "Will you just go ahead and put it in your mouth?"
To my 4 year old, "No honey, it's not proper to play with our girlie parts and make them talk like a vantriloquist."
"No, you cannot wear your sissy's Cinderella panties. Because you are a boy. Because I said so. OK, fine, just for a few minutes and then stop asking." (doorbell rings) "Great, the Arrowhead delivery man is here. Please stay inside. I said stay INSIDE! Can you stop running circles around the Arrowhead truck in your Princess panties for everyone to see? No sir, he doesn't normally wear Disney panties..." sigh
Honey, it's not nice to tell grandma that she's getting old and is going to die one day.
It's called a penis. Followed by shouting around the house "penis! penis! penis!"
Oh, I just can't wait.
To read the rest of this thread, click here. To read what comes out of MckMama's mouth, click here.
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