I'm a phenomenal cook.

Uh. Ok, no not really.

I managed to ruin cream of mushroom soup yesterday. From a can.

How in the world do you ruin cream of mushroom soup froma can? That's like ruining a pot of boiling water.

Well, first you dump the contents of the can into your soup bowl. Then, rather than reading the directions about what liquid should be added or how much of it should be added, you haphazardly grab milk and pour a little in until it looks about the thickness you want.

I like my soup thick. So I didn't put that much.

Well, when the proportions are wrong, the soup tastes bad. So mine did.

When my soup tastes bad, I think that I should add spices. Last time I ruined my soup by adding salt, so I decided to try something else.

Yes, I've ruined cream of mushroom soup before. Yes, I know that's ridiculous. No, I haven't learned my lesson yet.

So this time, instead of salt, I decided to crush a bullion cube and throw that in. The whole cube. Hey, bullion cubes make all kinds of other things taste yummy, right? Um, it didn't work.

By now my soup tasted even funkier and, determined not to give up, I thought, "Maybe now salt will work."

Just shake your head at me. It's alright. And wipe away those tears of laughter. It's ok.

I added salt.

Needless to say, my soup tasted AWEFUL.

But since I'd put so much effort into it, I decided to warm it back up anyway (because by now it was cold), carry it up to my bedside, and endure a few spoonfulls.

When Alejandro came home from work, he found me miserable in bed with the flu next to a night stand full of soda crackers, orange juice, ice water, a box of tissue and a bowl of cream of mushroom soup poison.

After I told him the story, he made me promise to blog about it.

Anybody got any good soup recipes? Apparently something so simple as soup from a can is not my cup of tea.