And to be very honest, it made me a teensy bit jealous. Because well, for one, she's a really good writer. And secondly, I wish I were that bluntly honest and open. I want to be. I try to be. But I haven't been.
Then the other day, I wrote here about how I made a big new bold committment to a goal in my Mary Kay business that scares me half to death, but which I'm committed to share with you.
When Melissa wrote about insecurities, it brought it full circle for me. - And at this point, if you haven't read her recent blog posts, you should jump over and read it because otherwise the rest of this post may not make as much sense. - You see, I know I come off as very confident. I am pretty confident. But that does NOT mean that I don't have my insecurities.
Actually, I have lots of them, and many of them have to do with my business.
This is scary for me to write because, well, my customers read this blog. And my recruits. And my mentors. And my family. And my friends. I have been building my Mary Kay business for over five years now. I have had my ups and downs and am phenomenally thankful for the growth I've gained through it, for the life skills and business skills I've learned, for the friends I have gained, and most of all for the freedom my business has given me to be a work-at-home mom and be there for every new developmental step Danny takes. Oh, and plus I like working in my pajamas. Ha!
Anyway, I adore my Mary Kay business and am proud of what I've built through God's grace and strength. But here's the rub....
deep breath
...I have a BIG fear of failure and lots of times I let that control me. I play to not lose instead of playing to win. I hide behind excuses and let things get in the way of my forward motion. I live small.
I have been pretty stagnant in my business for quite a while now. And it's time for a change. Last month, another very good friend of mine made a quantum leap in her business and is moving herself up the career path quickly. On March first, God started speaking to me:
"Um, Renee..." (tap tap)
"Yes, God?"
"Ahem. You know all that encouraging of her you've been doing? Telling her she can do it. Reminding her how she has the skills and just needs to sow the seeds and do the work?"
"Uh, yeah."
"Well, you can do that too."
(Defeated, discouraged sigh) "I know."
"Well... it's time."
But for some reason, this time, the "it's time" sounded different. There was a finality in it that in the same micro-second got me really excited and really scared all at once. I know it's time.
Melissa wrote in her last post:
I think she's absolutley right. Think about it. If we all were open about our insecurities, and decided to move past them and step around and face them, and if we all overcame our insecurities, well...What if we all stopped being surprised by insecurities? What if we all were open about it? What if we all stopped hiding behind our insecurities, and stepped around to face them and therefore conquered them?
I think the Kingdom of God would explode all over the earth.
...businesses would be born and new services and organizations would revolutionize many industries all over the world. ...boys would be men and fathers to their daughters. ...girls would be women and mothers to their sons. ...visionaries would become entrepreneurs and non-profits would be started. ...young people would step out and serve in other countries, asking for the funding they needed and receiving it in abundance. ...the nervous would not be bound by their fear of exposure but would speak boldly about their faith. ...the complacent would get up and out and move forward in their lives. ...the lazy would find their way out of being stuck in their financial situation. ...orphans would be adopted. ...widows would be cared for. ...social injustice would be curbed. ...and yes, the Kingdom of God would indeed explode all over the earth.
It might just be heaven that I'm talking about. I realize this.
But I do believe that God calls us to live BIG. And to do it today.
And I haven't been. So I'm going to become the proverbial change I want to see in the world. This month, mediocrity will not rule me. Insecurity will have no stronghold over me. This month I am stepping out and moving forward.
What does that mean, specifically, nitty gritty, day to day? Well, for me, this month, it means I will be doing facials on 30 women between now and March 31st. (And um, if you'd like to be one of those faces, well, by all means, let me know because I do not know where those 30 women are coming from yet!) It means I will be asking 25 of those women to be listening to the Mary Kay business opportunity, because I believe this is an incredible opportunity and I know lots of women are searching for something more right now.
And it means (double deep breath) that this month I'll be going on target to earn the use of a Mary Kay company car. ****
(Imaginary throw-up because that freaks me out to
I want to thank all of you who have already been a part of my business and thus, have shared in my dream of impacting many womens' lives. I want to encourage you to ask God what it means to live BIG for you and to step out and face your insecurities. May God bless you abundantly in that process, revealing to you that He is truly capable of accomplishing more through you than you could possibly ask or imagine! And may He receive all the glory!
Love,
****It's important for you all to know that I view the use of a company car as the reward for stepping out and pouring into other women's lives and helping others to be successful. It is not about monetary gain, but about the impact I will have on other women through sit-down face-time with them. Ultimately it is about sharing Christ's love in a unique way with women as we chat, share life, and play with make-up and skin care.