So because I adore MckMama and copy practically all of her stuff... and because this stream-of-consciousness writing (with no editing or stopping to re-write) is a quick and easy way to get lost of information out all at once, I thought I'd try this.
First of all, I know some of you are chomping at the bit for pictures and stories from Costa Rica, and I've gotta' just be totally honest: I've been procrastinating because I want to write it well and there is SO MUCH to write that I am a bit overwhelmed. But I'll get over it. A story is coming tonight. Promise. ;) We did have a fabulous time there, and although we now need a vacation to recover from our vacation, it was restful (at least until the last three days when we realized all the things we still wanted to do).
The past few days we've been sleeping, cleaning, doing laundry, catching up, hanging out with The Franks and The Valentes and doing fun things like eating sushi with them and stuff. Tomorrow we're going to Focus on the Family headquarters and I can't wait! ...even though I am a little overwhelmed at the thought that I'm taking time out of my work schedule to do so, when I really need to catch up.
On a totally different subject - I worked out this morning and then needed a two-hour nap to recover! Oh, two and a half weeks without working out is painful.
On another unrelated note, (and the REAL reason I wanted to write tonight) somebody (who is a total sweetheart) made a comment about me having a beautiful baby and a picture-perfect family, and it sent me down a train of thought that I haven't been able to shake. And that is this: I know we look picture perfect. There are no two other guys on this earth who are as beautiful to me as my husband and my baby boy. But the thing is that we're really NOT. And that is somehow, VERY important to me that you all know.
Because I talk about Jesus lots. And Jesus TRULY carries me through all things thick and thin. And there's a lot of the thick. And if someone didn't know that we're not picture perfect and if someone didn't know that we have a lot of thick to deal with and if that someone didn't know Jesus for themself... Well, then, they just might be turned off by the whole idea of God and stuff, because they might think, "Well, that's wonderful for her and her perfect family, but me... Well, I'm NOT so perfect and Jesus wouldn't want me."
And well, it also important to me that you all know that we have stuff in our lives, because I think there are WAY TOO MANY other small families out there (with kids or without), who are much like us, and who also seem to have it all together from the outside looking in, but who just might feel like they're dying inside and if they don't get help right. now. they just might crumble. To those people, I want to say, "Please reach out to help. RIGHT NOW. To me. To your church. To anyone." We would be lost if it weren't for the support and help we received from many through the years. So often I want to just spill my guts on this blog and share with you ALL the junk that we fight and find victory over (and sometimes defeat) a little at a time and in daily doses. To encourage you. So you know that you're not alone. But that would be unwise and indiscreet.
(Yes, I know I'm using italics way too much, but it helps me feel like I'm expressing myself.)
Anyway, I feel like I got that off of my chest, and hopefully some of you are encouraged.
Ok, I also just went back and re-read, which is kind of contrary to the stream-of-consicousness idea, but it's because it seems like there should be some sort of polished ending to this. But really, there's not. Maybe that's all Jesus wanted me to say tonight.
No wrap-it-up-and-tie-a-bow-on-it-at-the-end-of-the-half-hour.
Life's like that. My life is like that. It's messy and difficult and never accordng to plan. It's two steps forward and one step back, and with that step back, a Still Small Voice that says, "Patience, my child. My timing. My work. Just breathe and be and know that I Am."
I hope that if you feel life is messy tonight, you know that you're not alone. You're not stuck. You're not a failure. You're not hopeless.
And from my small corner of this little world, I'm praying for you.