1 I cry out to the Lord; I plead for the Lord's mercy.
2 I pour out my complaints before him and tell him all my troubles.
3 When I am overwhelmed, you alone know the way I should turn. Wherever I go, my enemies have set traps for me.
4 I look for someone to come and help me, but no one gives me a passing thought! No one will help me; no one cares a bit what happens to me.
5 Then I pray to you, O Lord. I say, "You are my place of refuge. You are all I really want in life.
6 Hear my cry, for I am very low. Rescue me from my persecutors, for they are too strong for me.
7 Bring me out of prison so I can thank you. The godly will crowd around me, for you are good to me."
Tonight I read Psalm 142 and I was comforted by the posture of David's heart. I love that he POURED OUT HIS HEART to God. Sometimes we think our prayers have to sound positive or holy or upbeat. While I firmly believe in focusing on the good in our lives, I also don't believe God didn't want us to be honest with Him in our broken, hurting, angered, lost and bewildered state of mind if that's where we're at.
I love that in Psalm 142 David MODELS for us that laying out all the ugly messy emotion at the foot of God Almighty is what we're SUPPOSED to do. I love that there isn't a clean pretty finish with a nice outcome at the end of this prayer. It's just all left hanging out there and all David does is seek His face and affirm that God is good and he is thankful.
Did you get that? No pretty ending. No nice and tidy "wrap-it-up and tie a bow on it like a half hour tv show" ending. We DON'T always have to have the answer at the end of the day. It is ENOUGH to lay it down, have a good cry about it and say, "I don't understand but I trust in You."
How comforting! Because my life is NOT neat and tidy like a tv show. (And whose is?!)
Recently I heard someone say (and I really wish I remembered who) that one of the biggest fattest lies floating around out there in Christian circles is that God won't give us more than we can handle. (And by the way, that is nowhere in the Bible.)
Um, YES HE DOES!! HELLO people, He does that EVERY SINGLE DAY! Every single day I am faced with more than I can handle and were it not for Christ within me I would fail miserably. It is not that *I* can do it with Christ. It is that *Christ* can do it despite me. Romans 8:37 in the New Living Translation says that, "DESPITE all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us" (emphasis mine). (But you should really just read all of Romans 8. Ok actually you should just read all of Romans.) With Christ in us we have victory over all the messy stuff, which would otherwise totally overpower us.
Sometimes for me, though (and I'd venture to say for you too) the first victory is just laying it all in a messy, blubbery, teary-eyed mess at Jesus feet and simply saying "Thank you for letting me be real. You are still good." Without answers. Without direction. Without understanding WHY it all happens.
And then the BEST thing always happens next: He takes me in His arms and like a mother to a child or like a lover to his beloved, He holds me and rocks me in his sweet never-ceasing love and whispers, "It's all going to be ok. You'll see."
Oh my Jesus, you are my Rock. My ever-present comfort. My victor. My Redeemer. You make me new and you make me fly. I am free in the honesty of who I am and the truth of who you've made me to be. Abba Father Jehovah Jireh be praised tonight!
Renee