Danilo's First Trip to the E.R.

So, yesterday I didn't post anything because I was recovering from the fiasco that occurred Tuesday night. And all I have to say is that you all are in trouble for not warning me ahead of time.

Ok, you're not really.

But Danilo's pediatrician is. Anybody know a good pediatrician in Colorado Springs? I'm looking for a new one.

Tuesday night right after blogging that Danilo was sleeping soundly, he woke up and threw a fit. Crying. Screaming. It seemed that every touch or movement hurt him. I was distraught. After two hours of this, I finally called the "Ask a Nurse" hotline. (Something else I'm seriously considering not repeating.) She asked me what his temperature was. I took it and it was 100.0° F. You'd think a nurse would know that after 4 vaccinations for a dozen different illnesses, this is a common reaction, but apparently this nurse did not. So given how sensitive to the touch he seemed (and how freaked out I sounded) she advised us to go to the E.R. So we did - while at the same time I texted family and friends and asked for prayer - freaking everyone else out too.

Of course, as soon as we got there, he stopped screaming and turned it down to a low whimper, accompanied by that darn lower lip of his. (I so wish I'd brought the camera and gotten this whole first E.R. visit on camera. Oh well.) Then we sat in the waiting room for a half an hour next to two dozen other germy people, trying to shield Danny from the air while at the same time trying not to appear totally rude. I'm sure we failed.

Then they called us back and they took his temperature. By this time, Danny had stopped whimpering. At least when his temp registered 100.9° F the nurses didn't think I was a totally paranoyed, hyper-protective, completely inexperienced psycho first time mom. So they admitted him and we got to wait for another hour and a half to see the doctor. (Because long waits are a required part of every E.R. visit, right?) At least we got to watch "America's Got Talent." I nursed Danny and he ate voraciously.

Finally, we got to see the doctor. By this time, Danilo was pretty much back to his happy, content, cooing self. Fussing only when he was moved too much. The doctor saw him and asked us, "Why was it you brought him in?" After the obligatory lookie into his ear, listen to his heart, and poke at him in several places, he announced that our baby was just fine and that probably the fever would fade, but we should watch him closely. He said Tylenol would bring the fever down.

(Sigh.)

Next, the nurse came in to give him Tylenol and I asked if we could re-take his temperature before giving him Tylenol, since it had been an hour and a half since they first took it. It was 99.5° F. So the Tylenol was no longer needed. "Is this your first baby?" the nurse asked, failing to conceal her utter annoyance. "Yes," I nodded, while Alejandro groaned inwardly.

Then we sat for another hour while they got our discharge papers ready. What is it about discharge papers that they are so complicated and take so long to prepare, anyway? At this point, Danilo was sleeping and we were bored. So I started to pull out papers from my purse - you know - the papers from his doctor's visit earlier that day, and here is what I read:

...Uh huh. And then I read this:

Of course. Seriously, who reads large packets of paper after you're home from the doctor and your kid is screaming his head off? I'm thinking this is pertinent information that should have been pointed out to me before I left. Dontcha think?

Both of us, being beyond the point of delerium, started to giggle.

Alejandro (referring to the nurse's question about us being new parents) said, "If I wasn't a Christian, I would have said something horrible!" I lost it and laughed hysterically. Then things just got stupid silly. You know when things are so far gone that you're just slap-happy? I think the staff was ready to throw us out on the street.

Another nurse came in and asked us a number of questions. Birthday, legal name, social security number, religious preference. "Christian," I said. I almost wish I'd lied.

Finally we were on our way. While I was waiting in the entry-way and Alejandro was getting the car, a woman came waddling in (because her pregnant belly was further out than she was tall) carrying pillows, an overnight bag, and a birthing ball. She was obviously in labor.

Man, she doesn't know what she's in for! Ha ha!

So that's the story of our first E.R. visit with Danilo. Got any killer E.R. stories you'd like to share? Comment away...