...Deep and wide... deep and wide... there's a fountain flowing deep and wide...
Last week at about 3 a.m. I was nursing Danilo, on the verge of LOSING IT, when I decided that I would be proactive about the situation, and take a minute to drag myself out of my groggy state, put on some relaxing music, go to the bathroom, and get some water before pulling him close to feed him. (This is because the previous nursing session in which I frantically jumped out of bed, scooped him up, and nursed him through thirst, hunger, pain, and an urgent need to pee... well, let's just say it didn't go so well!)
So the music I put in was a CD of lullaby Sunday School songs. And the song playing was Deep and Wide. I listened (a little more relaxed) as I gazed groggily at my little one, totally content and taking in his fill. The words ran through my mind... deep and wide... there's a fountain flowing...
I was totally consumed by how in love with this little boy I am. And how that grows more each day. And it dawned on me that the song never says what is deep and wide. And then it dawned on me that it's a fountain of LOVE that flows from above that is deep and wide.
I believe that God gives us things in life for the purpose of teaching us more about HIM. NOT so that our life is more fun or more blessed. Of course, often through the process we are more blessed, and our life is more fun! However, I don't think that's why we receive those things. New jobs, promotions, moves to a different city or state, spouses, houses, children... they each give us an opportunity to see into His character a little deeper. I have always believed this. But it came home in a new way that night as I sat there nursing.
Frankly, I was quite uncomfortable. I was so filled with love for this little boy, but make no mistake about it; I was not having fun at that moment. Yet I would have had it no other way. And I thought, "God loves me that much... and infinitely more than I could ever fathom." He endured much more than discomfort for me. And what He feels towards me is so incredibly beyond what I could ever feel towards my baby. His Spirit whispered to my soul, "Renee... I love you this much. Let that comfort you through this tough time. Let me love on you. Imagine my arms wrapped around you, holding you the way you hold
Danilo." It was almost tangible. Tears fell from my eyes in gratitude.
Danilo is 10 days old today. Here is a glimpse at the last 10 days with our family of three:
DAY 1
Just an hour or two old...
My mom couldn't wait to meet her grandson! I think she went from the door to him in her arms in about 0.75 seconds!
DAY 2
Danny was a bit jaundicy so he got his own tanning bed in the hospital... Even so, he was able to be on the phototherapy bed right in the room with us.
Hangin' with Dad...
Hangin' with Mom...
DAY 3
The phototherapy bed got old real fast! We could only have him out of it to eat... and then right back on the bed. So cuddle time was limited. We were SO glad when he could be done with the bed and we could hold him to our hearts' content!
Alejandro brought me flowers in the hospital...
Coming home from the hospital...
DAY 5
Still sleepin'!
DAY 6
He's awake!
He's stinky! Time for his first sponge bath!
Is that not the cutest pair of buns you've ever seen!?
DAY 8
DAY 9
The many facial expressions of Danilo while sleeping...
DAY 10
And today we've spent pretty much the whole day like this:
I've gotten several questions about the correct pronunciation of Danilo's name. Hopefully this will help:
The boy's name Danilo (dah NEE lo) is a variant of Daniel, and the meaning of Danilo is "God is my judge". I was mistaken, and while Daniel is Hebrew, Danilo is not, but is used in English, Italian, Portuguese, Serbian and Spanish speaking countries.
