Dear 20-Year-Old-Chad,

You don't know me.  But you will in a couple of years.  Right now, you are in Costa Rica for the first time, living with a family you barely know, speaking a language you hardly speak, feeling quite out of your element. But you won't feel that way for long.  You just made a decision that will affect my life profoundly.  Your Costa Rican host family just let you know that Fanny, the mom, is very sick and will be in the hospital for a while.  You were offered the opportunity to find a new family to live with for a while, but you declined.  You decided to stay and help.  You don't know it, but you just changed my life drastically.

That high school boy who lives in the house with you?  Alejandro?  Yeah, him.  You and he will become quite good friends.  Best, in fact.  He has some really rough months ahead of him.  You're going to be a great friend to him and I thank you for that.  Since you decided to stay and help, you guys are going to become such good friends that at the end of the year, after you go home, you're going to come back to visit, just to invite him to live with your family. And he will.  For about 8 months.

He'll fall in love with the United States and decide he's going to marry a gringa so he can live there.  Ok, he'll really hope that happens.  And it will, in fact.  But let me back up.

That girl you left back home?  Sarah?  You're going to marry her.  She's the one for you.  Neither you nor her have really figured that out yet, but you will, so be nice to her.  In a year or two, you and she will visit Alejandro in Costa Rica again, and that's when I come in the picture.  You sort of know it when you meet me, because when God chose me to be the gringa that walked in front of his house every morning on the way to go to school for a year, He knew what He was doing.  Yep.  I'm the one.  You and Sarah and Alejandro and I will walk the streets of Costa Rica, barely knowing each other, having no clue of the future that lies ahead.

You see, when you decide to marry Sarah, you also decide that Alejandro should be in your wedding.  In fact, you'll pay part of his way to Kansas so he could stand next to you in a suit.  Thank you for that too.  Because he won't use the ticket home.  He'll stay.  We'll get married just about six months after you!  And you'll be there.  We'll start our lives together here in the United States.

About 10 years from now, you won't believe it, but our families are going to get together at our house.  You're going to read our children a story.

I know right now you're single and carefree and all about fun, but see all those kids there?  All but one of them are yours!  Ha!  And guess what?  It's awesome!!

Your wife, Sarah, and I are going to talk late into the evening as your two year old and your littlest one sleep on her lap.

We'll take walks together again, except instead of walking the streets of Costa Rica, we'll walk the streets of our neighborhood.

We'll take all those kiddos to the park and our two-year-olds will slide together.

We'll try to take a picture of all five kids smiling at once, but it will be a dismal failure.  

Instead, we'll get them all frowning at once.  That's funnier anyway!

My son will adore yours, by the way.

We'll take pictures of your family.

and you'll take pictures of ours.

And then?

Just to bring it full circle?

We'll eat gallo pinto around our table for lunch.

So, 20-year-old-Chad?  Thank you.  Thank you for deciding to stick around and help, instead of being placed with another family without medical issues.  You'll never know how much I appreciate that one decision.

Love,

32-year-old-

To My Dad

I wanted to write a post for Father's Day... and telling the story of one of my favorite memories from our recent weekend in San Diego seemed fitting.  I hesitate to share this story, because it touches on the deep hurt I experienced when my parents (married for 30+ years) divorced shortly after Alejandro and I got married.  But the magnitude of the blessing of this story wouldn't be fully understood if I don't share it all, so here goes...  

When my parents split up, my world seemed to crumble, even though I was already an adult.  Divorce tears apart kids' lives.  It doesn't matter how old they are.  One of the things I cried and cried over was the loss of a hope of mine:  I always wanted my kids to have Godly grandparents who exemplified a Christ-centered marriage into their old age.  I want my kids to grow up spending time seeing the different generations of their family doing life well.  When my parents divorced, I thought that dream was long lost.  I mourned it like the death of a friend and learned to let it go and even forget about it.  

My Dad has been a guitar-player in a worship band at his church (and before that, in his previous church) for as long as I can remember.  He started playing before I was born and hasn't quit since.  One of my most cherished memories was when I was a young child.  Dad would serenade us to sleep by singing praise songs on his guitar.  The memory is still etched in my mind.  I would lay on my side, holding my pillow, watching my Dad.  He sat where the light of the hallway allowed him to see the chords (not that he hardly looked) and finger-picked as he gently sung, "Father in Heaven, hear my prayer...  keep me in thy loving care..."  And I would breathe deep and watch my Dad praise Jesus in his favorite way.  

A week and a half ago Friday night around 7p.m., after arriving in San Diego that morning and after a full day of water play, barbecue, toy cars and running around the living room, Danny was plenty tired out and ready for bed.  We all helped to put the toys away.  We all helped to get the office set up so Danny could sleep uninterrupted.  I got Danny's pajamas on.  Alejandro brushed Danny's teeth.  And right when we were about to encourage Danny to give his grandparents kisses goodnight, Dad walked into the living room with his guitar. 

I smiled.  

Grandma Jeanne, my Dad's new wife, asked Danny if he wanted to sit with her and he immediately climbed up onto her lap and settled in with a peaceful contentment like I have never seen him have with someone so quickly.  

Dad started strumming lullabies.  Dad, Jeanne and Alejandro sang worship songs to Jesus...

...while tears streamed silently down my cheeks.  

What a gift.  What an unexpected wonderful gift that had been returned to me.  

Dad, you chose well.  It took a while to pick up the pieces and put your life back together.  When you thought you'd never have to choose again, you chose well.  My son got to spend four days with Godly grandparents in a Christ-centered home and watch his Grandpa and Grandma Jeanne do life well.  

I hope that this legacy you are leaving is at least half the gift to you that it is to me.  

Happy Father's Day, Dad.

I love you.  

Memory Lane Monday

Memory Lane Monday was a series I started a long time ago with high hopes of posting something every single week and chronicling our history as well as our present.  I'd still like to do that.  Maybe as time goes on I'll be more and more consistent about it.  Anyhow, I was flipping through old film photos of mine and found a bunch from when we were dating.  

For those of you who don't know our story, we met in Costa Rica.  I moved there for a year as a missionary to teach English to elementary school kids at a Christian school.  Alejandro grew up there.  I rented a room from his neighbor's house and walked past his bedroom window every day on the way to school.  He worked at the Internet Cafe around the corner where I went to write to my family.  And so our story began.  

Me in my classroom in San José, Costa Rica:

This is my first grade English class.

This is our first date.  Well, actually, not our first date.  But it was the first time we went out together. Alejandro invited me and another missionary friend of mine to go to the Cartago Cathedral.  

Early on in our dating relationship, he took me to one of the inactive volcanoes. Behind us is the crater left behind by the Irazú Volcano.  It's high enough up that temperatures drop down to 45°F, which is practically snowy weather in Costa Rica.   

About ten miles up the road from the house Alejandro grew up in is a bed and breakfast named Rancho Redondo.  It's absolutely enchanting.  We spent an afternoon there and dreamed of coming back there married one day.  

It rained and we got drenched, but as you can see, we didn't care too much.  We've been back there as a married couple several times now.  It's still just as enchanting.

In July of that year, my parents came to Costa Rica to spend 3 weeks seeing what I did, traveling, and meeting the young man they were pretty certain I'd marry.  We took our parents to a trout farm and we all fished.  We got poured on (again).  But we still didn't care.  We spent the entire day translating, since no one in our family is bilingual (at least they weren't then).  This was the one and only day ever that all four of our parents were together and it's the only photo with all four parents that we have.  

At the end of the school year (which in Costa Rica ends November 30), I got ready to go home.  We both desperately wanted to get married, but I left Costa Rica without truly knowing if any of our plans would come to fruition and if we'd ever see each other again.  When countries, cultures, languages, and international immigration laws stand between you, there's just no telling, no matter how much you trust each other.  This was one of our last days together before my return home.  

That was when Mark 11:23-25 became our verse.  We spent four miserable months apart and afterwards I never wanted to be apart again.  Here's a cheesy picture I sent to him four weeks after we'd said a teary goodbye in the airport.

Apparently, neither did he, because he spent six months in San Diego with me saving up money from side jobs and yard work in order to propose.  The day I left to go to Costa Rica for a year, I never dreamed that out of my obedience to His call on my life, God would give me this.  

(That's an engagement ring on my finger.)

Or this.

(This is the day we got married.)

Or this.

"My thoughts are higher than your thoughts and my ways are higher than your ways." (Isaiah 55:9 my paraphrase)  His plan for me was better than anything I could ever have dreamed up.

A Cheer Up Post

Well, I was going to sit down and write a post in response to my Dad's question about why I blog and how I blog.  Those two posts are coming.

But then I jumped over to Sarah's Kingdom Mama's blog, and saw that she had had a terrible horrible no good really bad day.  Add to that, the fact that as I was composing the "Why I Blog" post earlier this afternoon, I almost went down a rabbit trail about 1,500 words long about all the ways this lady has changed my life. 

So I decided (in true bloggy friend fashion) this was a more appropriate post.  I was going to save it for her birthday, but, well... that's just WAY too far away. 

I knew Kingdom Mama first as Sarah, when we met in the grocery store a mile from my house.  It was quite a story, but you should really read her version.  I liked her from the moment her twin-filled tummy drew my curiosity, but I had no idea at the time that the friendship that would be born over lasagna and a room filled with all four of her babies would alter my life so much.  And yes, they were all babies at one time. 

Sarah inspired me to blog.  Then she taught me to blog.  She may not know it, but her writing shapes mine.  She helped me discover one of my greatest loves in a new fresh way - writing. 

Then I watched her parent her little ones and learned during our visits to their tiny mountain town, when we slept on their living room floor.  I learned a lot. 

I have listened read as she tells her story hundreds and hundreds of times to anyone who will listen.  I love how her incredible passion for marriage oozes out in between each word every time she tells it. 

I remember knowing them when their marrige almost fell apart.  (Although I didn't know it then.)  Alejandro and I always felt a special bond with Papa Bear and Kingdom Mama. 

When I got pregnant, she reminded me I was normal despite my total emotional fall-aparts. 

Kingdom Mama, Baby Bear, Danny, Renee

(The little ones just hadn't made their appearances yet.)

Then, when it was time for Danny's world debut, she was there to catch the whole thing on camera. 

She prays with me in my moments of self-disgust and weak faith.  She coached me through figuring out Babywise with Danilo.  She listens and then (somehow without condemnation) shows me exactly where my attitude is wrong and then points me back to the cross.  Following her direction is easy, because the imprints of her knees are already at the foot of it. 

Without Sarah in my life, well, I'd be quite a different person. 

So, Sarah, on this terrible horrible no good very bad day, just know that I'm sending God prayers of praise and thanks for you.  :)  I hope this cheers you up, lady. 

Love you,

Anniversary

I absolutely love the changing of the seasons. Maybe it’s because I grew up in Southern California, where there weren’t really four distinct seasons. Who knows. Of course San Diego is fabulous and I’m so grateful to have had the privilege of growing up there. But there is something about watching the colors change that is just magical. I’ll never forget the Fall that my husband and I spent two weeks engaged before getting married.

Alejandro had spent the Spring and Summer in San Diego doing mostly yard work and side jobs, saving up for a ring. Then he proposed and we had two weeks to gather paperwork and meet with a lawyer to start the immigration process, while at the same time, enjoying the magic of Fall and engagement combined. Alejandro’s birthday is four days before we were married at the courthouse. That day, we drove out to Santee to a pumpkin patch. He’d never seen pumpkins before. They’re not exactly grown in abundance in Costa Rica. There were a few children here and there but it was a quieter day on the farm and he just marveled at the size of the huge orange vegetables. We had our own private hay-ride, which was either really cheesy or really romantic. Or both. But no matter what, it was absolutely wonderful.

The farm workers asked us about us and thoroughly enjoyed hearing our story. Since we were close enough to our wedding day to do the count-down in hours, we were all too eager to share. And the fact that this particular patch had the honor of hosting Alejandro’s first view of pumpkins made the farm workers even prouder to be a part of our story and more eager to hear it.

Now, seven years later, after driving through the Colorado mountains on the way to our romantic weekend away, all of the orange in the Aspen trees bring the memories flooding back. That day at the pumpkin patch, we held hands like kids and walked through the hay-bales. We grabbed snow sleds and slid down the hay bale slide. We petted the goats and buried our fingers in the sheeps’ wool. We watched the baby chicks. We Alejandro picked up giant pumpkins and almost threw his back out. It seems like we were kids just getting a start on life, full of excitement about what was ahead.

Looking back over the last seven years – and I realize this is only seven and I probably sound like I’m talking about it as if it were 25 – we’ve come a long way. I’ve given up waiting for the day when we feel like we “have it all figured out.” I’m thankful for the way God has used us to make each other holy instead of happy. I'm amazed by how much happiness this marriage has given me too.  There is so much to be thankful for. 

Anyway, back to our romantic getaway...  We've never been at this location before, so when we booked it, we didn't know exactly what was in store.  Wow, were we in for a surprise!  It's fitting that when we arrived at our romantic destination, we were blessed with this view out the back window...

Oh, and don't miss the Colorado mountains in the background...

How great is our God that He blesses us with extra gifts like this!? 

9/11

This weekend at our house, a flag was flying high.  You see, I think it's important to remember. 

But lest I be misunderstood, let me clarify.  I don't think that what they did...

...is really what we should be remembering.  That part is significant.  But I don't think it's really what we should be fixing our minds on.  Please hear my heart on this.  In no way do I mean to minimize the loss experienced by many on September 11, 2001.  However, we are told clearly...

Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  Philippians 4:8

What I think we should really be working on remembering are things like this.

I think we ought to remember the redemption that came from that day. 

The miraculous rescues that happened.

The sacrifice of those who gave to the end of themselves.

And those who gave even beyond that.

We ought to fix our minds on families restored.

...On the way God showed Himself through the events of the aftermath of the attack.

And the way the people of this country came together in unity as never before.

That is why our flag flew high this weekend. 

To remember...

...what He has done.

***With the exception of the photos with the flag flying in front of my house, none of these photos are mine, but rather, I found them on the internet.  I was only able to find the site for the photo by Kimberly Petty Photography .