Follow-up To Last Night's Post

I just have to say that I have the very best readers friends in the whole world!  You guys flooded my inbox this morning with encouragement and advice, and it was SO wonderful!  I really debated on sharing exactly how I felt last night and I'm so glad I did because I am so blessed today by your responses!! 

Sarah's response in the comments section was SO GOOD, I had to share it with you all.  She said...

Just a thought, but even though praying before meals can be a wonderful family tradition (it's honestly never been part of my life much...sometimes we do, sometimes we don't), it is MOST important that he loves it. Just exposing him to prayer is what's most important right now (IMO). Let him observe as you and Ale quiet yourselves, hold hands and pray....write it on his little heart. He'll volunteer to join in soon enough.

As the mom to five very smart and *uber* strong-willed children, God has to remind me every day that He created them to be strong-willed. That doesn't mean they get to disobey. But it also doesn't mean I'm called to "break" them. It's a wonderful molding process (for me and them) parenting strong-willed children. And, no, it doesn't always FEEL wonderful at all! ;) 

Wow!  Thank you for this! Today at lunch I simply bowed my head and prayed out loud. I was able to TRULY pray and seek peace from my Father and pray over my son, rather than "faking" a prayer while wrestling with Danny's hands. It was AMAZING! I got still and quieted my spirit and Danny instantly got still and watched me. He was FASCINATED!!! He even sort of grabbed his hands together while he watched me. He stayed quiet for the duration of my prayer and then went back to his chatty self once I said "Amen."

Hallelujah!! :)

The day was even better due to a couple of other things...  I babysit at the gym I work out at one hour a week in exchange for a free membership.  Today was my day to babysit, so Danny and I headed out the door first thing in the morning.  It was a great hour of play and socializing with other kids and he got good and tired. 

Then I came home and gave him a small snack around 11 a.m. before setting him in his crib with books and stuffed animals for his quiet time.  I explained in a matter-of-fact way that "this is what we're going to do," and then set him down, kissed his head and walked away.  It's the same principle of "Babywise" for sleep-time.  Put the baby down and walk away. 

Danny yelled for about 10 minutes but then when it was clear I was not coming back in, he sat down and started reading.  Do you know that he read and played with his activity book for a solid half-hour!?

So fabulous!  Lord, thank you for great friends.  Thank you for words of encouragement.  Thank you for your guidance and for your miraculous work in all of our hearts...  even the 15-month-old hearts.  I am blessed to be your child! 

Round 3

Two points for Mom. One point for Danny.

Well, actually, it was a win-win for both of us. Danny couldn't wait for his nap today.  He was pretty cranky by lunch time and threw a hum-dinger of a temper tantrum.  Correction, redirection and good food helped through, and we got through it.  When playing after lunch proved to just be a power struggle and one tired little kiddo, I carried him upstairs for naptime.  By the time I got him down and tucked in with his blanky up against his face (yesterday he held onto the knit blanket my mom made like it was his best friend) he was more than ready to drift into dream-land. 

And now... sweet silence!

I thought I'd take some time to share how I do transition days here... since I get asked a lot by my Babywise friends.  Not that I'm any sort of expert.  I am, after all, the mommy of only one.  Actually, Kingdom Mama should probably be writing this post, since she is really the one who taught me how.  She and I both transition from one nap/wake/eat schedule to another in a single day.  I think cold-turkey is much easier than a drawn out week-long process.  And usually, it only takes a day or two for Danny to adjust.  Here are a couple other things I do that I've found helpful:

I try to make "transition day" (that is the day that we move him to a new schedule) on a day when I don't have much else important planned.  I don't schedule appointments or have friends over, because if things go awry, like they did yesterday, it pretty much sabotages those things.  I also prepare myself for a day when I get little work done. 

Secondly, I try to get us out of the house for part or most of that day.  Being out and about provides just enough distraction and adrenaline for my little tyke to help him forget that he's tired and past his naptime.  On the other hand, I avoid car rides that are longer than ten minutes, otherwise he'll end up sleeping in the car and I want him to sleep in his bed.  So we do things like walk to the park, play in the front yard, take baths, play in water outside (if it's warm) or make a short grocery shopping trip. 

It helps when I have hearty deliciousmeals planned for him that day.  The last thing I need is additional fatigue because he didn't eat the meal that he didn't care for. 

When nap-time does come, if he bucks it and cries or yells, I employ the ten-minute rule.  He goes down and if he cries, I let him for ten minutes.  NO less.  It's REALLY HARD sometimes.  Like yesterday.  And the younger he was, the harder it was.  After ten to fifteen minutes (use your mommy-judgment) I go in, pick him up, wipe off his tear-streaked face, change his diaper (if only for the routine of it), shush him, hug him, kiss him, offer him a little drink (if his throat is sore from hollering) and put him back down.  If after three or four times he still hasn't settled in, I give him and rock him to sleep or let him get up, depending on what time it is and what the schedule calls for.  I don't win every time, of course.  But persistence usually pays off in the long run.  The key is to stick to it.  Danny needs to know that nap time is nap time whether he thinks he needs it or not.  The reason I don't push it longer than 3 or 4 ten-minute tries is because usually Danny is really worked up by then and it's no longer productive to try again. 

Kingdom Mama also suggested praise music.  In those moments when he's hollering and it's all you can do it pull your hair out, praise music always soothes me!  Yesterday I forgot the praise music, but called  her instead.  :)  She was so gracious as I vented on the phone about to lose my mind! 

Lastly, I remind myself that in the long run, it will pay off.  Danny will be a happy well-adjusted kid with healthy sleep-patterns.  He and I will both know what to expect each day.  Crying never killed anyone and this is one of the tougher parts of parenting (at least at this age). 

So there you have it.  That's how I do transition days. 

Happy Mama!

Because Danny just slept through the night!

...and I'll be singing the praises of this little book...

...for many years to come!

(Seriously, they should start paying me for advertising to all of my... um... massive number of friends who might listen to me.)

This book gets a bad rap by many moms, but the principles work amazingly. It has given me so much freedom and confidence. I think the book may get a bad rap because, although it's well written, it's rather poorly organized in terms of finding issues your child might be facing at each age. I gained my understanding of the parenting philosophy from the book, but I attribute my success using it to several factors:

-I read the book before he was born. I recommend reading it with your spouse out loud and discussing it.
-Since he was born I've read and re-read and re-read and re-read certain sections of the book until I find the answers.
-I've had several friends who are moms who used the Babywise system and I asked their advice when I felt stumped. This helped a lot!
-I placed total faith in that the system does work and it's just a matter of my having diligence to figure out what any given road-bump might be.

I'll be back later today with two-month-old pictures. ;)

__________________Español__________________

Soy una madre felíz... porque Danny acaba de dormir toda la noche!

...gracias al libro Babywise (foto)...
(Deberían pagarme por darles publicidad. ¡Ji ji!)
El libro explica un system buenísimo de ayudar a que su bebé organice sus horas de dormir y comer. Ultimamente, ayuda a que el bebé duerme toda la noche aproximadamente a los dos meses de edad.

¡Danilo cumplió 2 meses ayer! Regresaré más tarde con fotos del día. ;)

God's Perfect Timing

A while back, I promised to tell you about God’s Perfect Timing…

But first, I want to let you all know that things in this household have settled down considerably, and we are not quite so sleep-deprived as before. ;-) On Tuesday night (after a much-needed heart-to-heart with a good friend and mentor of mine who is also an incredible mom) I determined that I was going to be in charge of the day’s schedule from now on and that Danny would NOT be.  After all, he is the kiddo and I am the mom and he does not run this house!  (Although it seemed like it was going to be that way for a while.)  Anyway, we truly put "Babywise" into practice and now all three of us are much happier and more rested.  It’s been a GREAT second half of the week, and Danny has settled into his schedule quite nicely.

This little guy continues to just blow my mind with how incredibly I love him!  In fact, I was thinking…  How is it possible I could come to love someone SO much!?!  I mean, I truly love Alejandro that deeply and completely… but we’ve had over 7 years, since meeting each other for that to develop and grow.  My love for Danilo is that deep and wide, but it’s only been one month!  That is mind-blowing for me.

I asked Alejandro the other day, on a much-needed date (yes, just the two of us because Mom babysat) what his favorite part of being a Dad was.  He had trouble putting it into words, but he said, “I guess just looking at him!  Knowing he came from me and you and our intense love for each other and how I just love him more than I can possibly imagine!  …Oh, and the diapers!” he added sarcastically, “I mean, that part is just the best!”

But anyway…  back to the subject of His Perfect Timing.  Most of you know I have a Mary Kay business.  Some of you may wonder what would possess me to take part in a business that involves pseudo-cheerleader-type activities in which I join a group of women who seem WAY too excited about selling lipstick.  And WHY would I want to sell lipstick anyway?!?  Well, hopefully those of you who have taken part in my business have caught a glimpse of the fact that it’s much more than skin care and lipstick… and that it’s really about building up women, pouring into their lives and valuing them.  Some of my VERY BEST friends have come out of my business and I am eternally thankful for them.

One of the things I appreciate most about my Mary Kay girlfriends is that we challenge each other to live BIG and to pursue God through the activity of our lives.  We often set goals for ourselves and then hold each other accountable to those goals and many times we cast a vision for what we’d like our lives to be like…  not just our business.  Prayer is a big part of the process.  So last year, at the beginning of July (which is the beginning of our “Mary Kay year”) I made a goal poster.  I put many things on this goal poster.  But one of the things I put was a picture of a pair of booties:

Alejandro and I weren’t even thinking about starting a family yet.  In fact, we were most definitely “not ready.”  But I really wanted to be intentional about taking steps to get ready (financially, spiritually, relationally, etc.) to feel that we could start a family at any time.

Since we got married, we both said that we wanted to start having kids after about five years.  It’s that question that everyone starts asking as soon as you’ve tied the knot.  “So, when do you think you’ll have kids?” people ask.  “Around 5 years of marriage,” was our answer.  But when our 5th year wedding anniversary started to get close, we both thought, “Nope, we’re still not ready!”

And then God intervened.

In September, we had a “scare.”  All you couples out there know what I’m talking about.  You know… the “oh-my-gosh-I-think-I-might-be-pregnant” SCARE.  Where both of your lives and senses of reality are totally suspended in utter panic for the duration of about a week until you find out that you’re really NOT pregnant.  Yeah.  That kind of a scare.  But an interesting thing happened during that week for me.  At the beginning of it I was definitely panicked.  I mean, I have always been totally excited about having kids, but I just didn’t feel ready then.  But by the end of the week, when I found out I wasn’t pregnant, I was absolutely heartbroken.  In that week, God planted in me a desire for children and He was preparing me for His Perfect Timing.

Then October 18th rolled around – our 5 year anniversary – and Alejandro and I took off for a wonderful weekend at a bed and breakfast to spend together.  It was truly a memorable weekend!  We biked, hiked, ate yummy food, hot-tubbed, slept late…  It was FABULOUS!
A week or so later, we started to suspect another SCARE.  But after the roller-coaster of emotions we had experienced the previous month, and because we had still been preventing, we both mentally said, “Nope, I’m not going down that emotional road again.  It’s surely nothing.”  However, a few days later, we were starting to wonder if maybe it wasn’t nothing, and I remember driving home talking to God about it.  He whispered to me, “Renee, if you are pregnant now, you will know that this is My Perfect Timing for you, because you didn’t make the decision to try.  You’ll know it’s Perfect Timing because it’s MY choice for you.  You’ll never doubt if you heard me wrong or if you tried too early and were financially irresponsible.  You’ll know this is MY desire for your life Right Now.”

Well, praise God, we were wrong.  It wasn’t nothing.  It was definitely SOMETHING. And we were EXCITED!  (Ok, so after 24 hours we were excited…  It did take a little bit of time to sink in!)  I’m pretty darn sure Danilo was conceived one day after our 5th year wedding anniversary!

And wouldn’t you know it, Danilo was born on June 30.  That date might not seem significant to many of you.  But my Mary Kay girlfriends right now are smiling from ear to ear, because June 30 is the LAST DAY of the Mary Kay year.  It’s when all the contests are ending.  It’s when all of the goals that were set the previous July are finished.  Women promote themselves to be directors.  Diamonds and trips are won.  Pink Cadillacs are earned.  Dreams come true.  That day, my dream came true too – the dream I’d put on my goal poster the year before.  I guess God knows what he’s doin’ after all, huh.

 

One more thing…

I DO have another dream that I’d like to share with all of you.  This may be one of the scariest things I’ve ever shared with so many people…  My dream is to promote myself to be a Mary Kay director – this is a position in which I get the privilege of training and mentoring a group of women to help them achieve what they want from their business.  My passion is sharing the Lord and His desire that we live BIG for Him.  I LOVE doing this through Mary Kay and being a director would give me a huge platform from which to do this.  So here’s the scary part:  I’m committed to working toward achieving this goal by March of 2010.  I’m sharing this with all of you because when I make it public…  well, then I really have to stick to it!  So feel free to hold me accountable!  Ask me how it’s going and how close I am!